Please and thank you
English speakers say please and thank you very often, even for small things: when a waiter brings water, when someone holds a door, when a shop assistant gives you change. Leaving them out can sound rude, even if your grammar is perfect.
- Please goes at the end or right after the request: "A coffee, please", "Could you please close the window?"
- Thanks is more casual than thank you. Thanks a lot and thank you so much are stronger.
- Replies: You’re welcome (neutral), No problem and Sure (casual), My pleasure (polite, common in service jobs).
Asking politely: "Can I…?" not "Give me…"
In English, a direct command sounds rude in most situations. Instead, requests are usually questions:
| Sounds rude | Sounds polite |
|---|---|
| Give me a coffee. | Can I have a coffee, please? |
| I want the bill. | Could we get the check, please? |
| Help me. | Could you help me, please? |
| Repeat. | Sorry, could you say that again? |
Could is a little more polite than can. I’d like… ("I would like") is also polite: "I’d like a ticket to Boston."
Excuse me or sorry?
- Excuse me comes before you bother someone: to get attention, to pass someone, or to ask a question. "Excuse me, where’s the station?"
- Sorry comes after a small mistake: bumping into someone, interrupting, being late. "Oh, sorry!"
- I’m sorry is a real apology, and it is also what people say when they hear bad news: "I’m sorry to hear that."
- Sorry? with a rising voice means "What did you say?", like Pardon?
When you don’t understand
Native speakers are usually happy to help if you ask clearly:
- "Sorry, I don’t understand."
- "Could you say that again, please?"
- "Could you speak more slowly, please?"
- "What does “deadline” mean?"
- "How do you say this in English?"
- "I’m learning English." This one short sentence often makes people slow down and speak more clearly.
Common mistakes
- Translating a command directly ("Give me water"). Use "Can I have some water, please?"
- Using "Excuse me" as an apology after a mistake. Say "Sorry".
- Answering "Thank you" with "Please". In English the reply is "You’re welcome" or "No problem".
- "How do you call this?" The English question is "What do you call this?" or "What is this called?"