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Slang file #008Cooling offDating

What does red flag mean?

Say itred FLAG/ˌrɛd ˈflæɡ/noun

A warning sign that something may be wrong; in dating, a behavior that suggests someone would be a bad partner.

Written by the Second Language TeamWritten

A red flag is a warning sign: something that shows there may be a problem, danger, or something wrong [1]. Online, people use it most about dating. There, a red flag is a behavior that suggests someone would be a bad partner, like a date who is rude to the waiter. You will also hear it about friends, bosses, jobs, and money. The phrase is not new: English has used it for warnings since at least 1777 [2].

Say it as two words, with a little more weight on the second one: red FLAG. On social media, people often type the 🚩 emoji instead, sometimes three in a row [3]. It is not rude, and it is not only slang. Doctors, banks, and news reports use it too, so it works almost anywhere.

Word stats

How casual
Not very casual: news sites and doctors use it, and only the 🚩🚩🚩 version is pure internet.
OK at work
Fine at work for real problems, like “these numbers are a red flag,” but calling your boss one is your own red flag.
Grandma-safe
Totally safe, and your grandma probably said it long before the emoji existed.
Cringe risk
Low, though calling every small habit a red flag (“he likes cats 🚩”) can make people roll their eyes.
Freshness
Fewer people look it up than last year, but a phrase from 1777 is not going to disappear soon.

Spotted in the wild

Group chat · Friday, 9:48 pm
  1. Minadate update: he says he has no friends because “everyone is jealous of him”
  2. You🚩🚩🚩
  3. Jaethat’s not one red flag, that’s a whole parade
  4. Minaok I’m getting dessert to go 😂

What it means here: Mina’s date said something that suggests he would be a difficult partner, so her friends call it a red flag.

Comments under a dating video
  1. Lenatell me a dating red flag. I’ll start: he never asks me a single question
  2. Marco“I don’t really like dogs” 🚩
  3. Priyahe calls his mom every day… red flag or green flag??
  4. Lenagreen flag! unless she plans all your dates

What it means here: People share behaviors they see as warning signs in a partner, and argue about which ones count.

Work chat · #sales
  1. Leonew client wants us to start today but won’t sign a contract yet
  2. Youhmm, that’s a red flag for me
  3. Leoagreed. I’ll red-flag it for legal before we do anything

What it means here: Here a red flag is a sign that a business deal could go wrong. No dating at all.

How to use it

  • That’s a (huge / big) red flagHe reads my messages when I leave the room? That’s a huge red flag.
  • ignore the red flagsI ignored all the red flags because he was so funny.
  • raise a red flagThe missing payments raised a red flag at the bank.
  • a red flag for someoneBeing rude to waiters is a red flag for me.
  • red-flag something (verb)The system red-flagged the strange purchase on my card.

Don’t say it like this

  • Sounds offThat’s red flag.

    Say thisThat’s a red flag.

    Red flag is a countable noun, so it needs “a” or a plural: “a red flag,” “two red flags.”

  • Sounds offAfter two years of fighting, we broke up. What a red flag!

    Say thisWe fought on our first date. I should have seen the red flag.

    A red flag is an early sign of a problem that might come. When the problem has already happened, it is no longer a warning.

  • Sounds offMy boss gave my plan a red flag, so I can start tomorrow!

    Say thisMy boss gave my plan the green light, so I can start tomorrow!

    In this phrase, red means warning or stop. Red can be a lucky or proud color in some places, but here, think of a stop sign.

red flag or not?

Is each of these red flag? Pick an answer to find out.

  1. A new friend borrows money, then gets angry every time you ask for it back.

  2. Your date is kind to the waiter and remembers what you said last week.

  3. A job ad says “we are like a family here” and also “no extra pay for working late.”

  4. Your date supports a different football team than you.

The red flag family

  • green flagA sign that someone would be a good partner or friend.The red flag’s cheerful cousin. Always texts back.
  • beige flagA strange but harmless habit: not good, not bad.Like a partner who names every houseplant. Odd, but nobody is in danger.
  • dealbreakerA problem so big that it ends a relationship or a deal.What a red flag turns into when you ignore it for too long.

Where it came from

  1. c. 1600Red flags are flown in battle, on land and at sea, to show that a side will keep fighting and not give up [2].
  2. 1777The earliest date Etymonline gives for red flag meaning “a sign of danger or warning” [2].
  3. TodayThe dating sense is everywhere online, often as 🚩, while doctors, banks, and news reports keep using the older warning sense.

Red flags that have nothing to do with dating

Red flag has a few other meanings, and the news uses some of them a lot. The words around it usually tell you which one you are reading.

Where you see itWhat it means
Dating, friends, social mediaA sign that someone would be a bad partner or friend
Work, money, medicineA warning that something is wrong, like strange numbers in a report or a worrying symptom [1]
At the beachA real red flag: the water is dangerous, so do not swim
US weather newsA red flag warning: hot, dry, windy weather that helps fires spread
US news about lawsRed flag laws: laws that let a court take guns away from a person who may be a danger. This is not slang.
History and politicsA red flag as a symbol of socialism or communism

The dating sense comes from the general idea of a red flag as a warning. If you see “warning,” “law,” or “weather” next to it, the text is probably not about anyone’s love life.

Sources

  1. Red-flag Definition & MeaningMerriam-Webster
  2. Red flag - Etymology, Origin & MeaningOnline Etymology Dictionary (Etymonline)
  3. 🚩 Red Flag emojiDictionary.com

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